20 March, 2011

Funny Quotes 4

Everything is always okay in the end, if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
— William Claude Dukenfield

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
— Douglas Adams

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it?

Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

I can resist everything except temptation. — Oscar Wilde

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I don’t care who you are! Get those reindeers off my roof!

I have a drinking problem – the bars close at 2 AM.

I intend to live forever, or die trying. — Groucho Marx

I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

I need someone really bad! Are you really bad?

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming. — Jimmy Carter

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. — Henny Youngman

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

08 March, 2011


when you cry...
no one sees your tears.

when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt.

when you are worried...
no one sees your stress.

when you are happy...
no one sees your smile...

But fart just one time...
And everybody knows!