30 July, 2006

Try to read this. I'm sure you can...

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% OF HTE plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

22 July, 2006

Why Me?

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 50,000,000 children start playing tennis, 5,000,000 learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

16 July, 2006

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with se'xual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

05 July, 2006

The Pope and the Driver

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver noticed that the Pope was still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence," said the driver, "would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," said the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protested the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope climbed in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme
Pontiff floored it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal until they heard sirens.
"Oh no, I'm gonna lose my license," moaned the driver.
The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the cop approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatcher.
The Chief got on the radio and the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that; he's really important," said the cop.
Then the Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"