14 November, 2012

Wise Words

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

04 November, 2012

Sleeping on a train

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own damn blanket."