Bugatti Versus Moped

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a Bugatti Veyron. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $1.24M. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The young man replies "A Bugatti Veyron. It costs $1.24M."

"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside? "Sure," replies the owner.

So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"

Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 MPH.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whoooosh! Something whips by him, going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Bugatti?" the young man asks himself.

Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Bugatti?"

Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh!

Ka-bbblammm! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and good grief, it is the old man!!! Of course the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man groans and replies "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"

Need help with translation?
Hip: شیکپوش و به روز و باکلاس و اینا!
Moped: موتور گازی
Suspernder: بند شلوار

A turtle family went on a picnic

A turtle family went on a picnic… The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.
Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.
Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed, and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years. Then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE? I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

The Moral Is:
Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

Kids are Quick!

Click on the images below, for a full-sized view:

How men change!

The Love Word:
After 6 weeks : I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months : Of course, I love you.
After 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you ?

Back from Work:
After 6 weeks : Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months : I'm BACK!!
After 6 years : Have you cooked yet ?

Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months : Here, it's for you.
After 6 years : ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!

Cooking:
After 6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight ?
After 6 years : DUMPLING AGAIN ??

New Dress:
After 6 weeks : Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months : You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

TV:
After 6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months : I like this movie.
After 6 years : I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!