complaining

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a cola you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a cola for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another cola you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another cola but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

Funny Quotes

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep... not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
- Homer Simpson

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
- Melanie Griffith

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- Henny Youngman

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.