Funny!

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" stomach and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh, My God."

A Call From Hell

A British, an American and an Iranian died and all went to hell.
The british said: "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there." He called and talked for about 5 minutes. Then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call?"
The devil goes: "Five million dollars."
"Five million dollars?!" The British made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

The American was so jealous, he starts screaming: "Me too, I want to call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing, too..."
He called the US and talked for about 10 minutes. And then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call?"
The devil goes: "Ten million dollars."
"Ten million dollars?!" He made him a cheque and went to sit back on his Chair.

The Iranian was extremely jealous too. He starts screaming and Screaming: "I want to call Iran, too. I want to see how everybody is doing there, too. I wanna talk to everybody." He called Iran and he talked for about twenty hours, He was talking and talking and talking. Then he said: "Well, devil. How much do I owe you for the phone call?
The devil goes: "One dollar."
"ONLY ONE DOLLAR??!"
The devil goes: "Yes, well... from hell to hell, it's local!!!

A little help...!

A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Sure; after the police leave," replied the lawyer.