Repairing the phone

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine--except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

Single or Married

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected 2 litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orangejuice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee and a 250g pack of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyorbelt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated," You must be single."The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what? you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "beCause you're ugly!"

lettuce: کاهو

bacon: گوشت خوک

startled: شگفت زده

proclamation: اعلان

intrigued:مسحور شده (این یکی فارسیش از انگلیسیش سخت تر شد!)ا

derelict intuition: کشف ناگهانی

Give/Take?

A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station. People were all crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting.
"Give me your hand!" but the man would not reach up.
A man elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man.
"Friend," he asked, "what is your profession?"
"I am a Revenue officer," gasped the man.
"In that case," said the first man, "take my hand!"
The man immediately grasped the other man's hand and was hauled to safety. He turned to the amazed bystanders and declared, "Never ask a tax man to GIVE you anything, you fools!"

CHAOS!

A surgeon, an architect an a lawyer are having a heated barroom discussion concerning which of their professions is actually the oldest profession. The surgeon says: "Surgery IS the oldest profession. God took a rib from Adam to create Eve and you can't go back further than that." The architect says: "Hold on! In fact, God was the first architect when he created the world out of chaos in 7 days, and you can't go back any further than THAT!" The lawyer puffs his cigar and says: "Gentlemen, Gentlemen...who do you think created the CHAOS?!"

A STORY ABOUT EVERYBODY

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Free Haircut

There is a good old barber in some city in the US . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.
An Iranian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The Iranian software engineer is happy and leaves.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there?


Can you guess?
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Do you know the answer?
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Come on! think like an Iranian...
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A dozen Iranians (all with BMWs or Mercedes Benzs) waiting for a free haircut!