Marriage Jokes

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
-- Lord Byron

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
-- Marie Corelli

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi

a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus